friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
