I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
