I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
