I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
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I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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