i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
do nipples grow back?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
