Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
