It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
