I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
