I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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