I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
