Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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