At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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