you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She even gives head with a lisp.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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