ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize