Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
