oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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