I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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