Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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