Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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