and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
