chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
