nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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