Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize