I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize