Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
