dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
