is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
