God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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