watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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