That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
