Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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