i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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