He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
