I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize