Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
