How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
