I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The power of my boobs compel you
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
