how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
