Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
