so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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