Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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