i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
