just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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