nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
