well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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