i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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