have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
