Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
