what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
