Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
