hell yes lets make some ravioli
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
