I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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