I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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