i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
