I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
