Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I wish there were birth control emojis
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
