I just cut my nipple shaving
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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