you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
