it wasn't lemon gatorade
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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