Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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