I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
