Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
