At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
