how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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