Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
