Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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