Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
